Letters of Truth
September 30, 2004
Hi Everyone!
I just wanted to let ya’ll know that I am still working on my first posting for the website and I’m really excited about it! We are going to be putting “Lynne’s Corner” on hold soon- so that way I can talk to you directly.
I’m going to be doing updates about what’s going on, things I’m currently working on and I was also thinking about starting a section that has my favorite things of the month. It’ll include different restaurants I’ve found, movies, CD’s, bands, clothing designers, stores, beauty, fashion, travel, different recipes – stuff like that. What do ya’ll think?
Some of it will be posted on the fan club first, to give you guys the chance to read it before everyone else and then we’ll put it up on the main site a little bit later. But, I still need a little more time to put the finishing touches on my first letter- so please be patient with me and I promise to have something ready to go up soon!
Love,
Britney
October 15, 2004
Dear Fans,
I am going to start writing this column now as often as possible. The reason is so I can talk directly to you, my fans, who have stuck by me & who continue to support me. Also, I’m not going to be as busy as my Mom. She’s running behind my sister like crazy! I am also going to take some time off to enjoy life. I’ve actually learned to say “NO!” With this newly found freedom, its like people don’t know how to act around me. Should we talk to her like we did when she was 16 or like the Icon everyone says she is? My prerogative right now is to just chill & let all of the other overexposed blondes on the cover of Us Weekly be your entertainment… GOOD LUCK GIRLS!! I’m sorry that my life seemed like it was all over the place the past 2 years, it’s probably because IT WAS! I understand now what they mean when they talk about child stars. Going & going & going is all I’ve ever know since I was 15 years old. It’s amazing what advisors will push you to do, even if it means taking a naive young blonde girl & putting her on the cover of every magazine.
I know now that my knee gave out on me this past summer so that I would have no choice but to stop. My body was shutting down and needed rest. It’s funny how the Man upstairs works. Right now, I have to go– I really want to watch “Saved” with Mandy Moore and re-runs of Sex and the City. I want to enjoy all of the simple things that I missed over the past few years due to working way too much.
Being married is GREAT and I can’t wait to start my family! There is so much change going on right now… not only with me, but in the world, as well. So, the next time you see my face, hear one of my songs or even if I’m the topic of your next conversation, please remember that times are changing & so am I.
Love always,
Britney
PS I look forward to writing you all again soon. Kevin and I are finally able to take our Honeymoon!!
November 4, 2004
Dear Fans,
I’m just getting back from my honeymoon and it was absolutely breathtaking! This is the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Unfortunately, we couldn’t take our honeymoon right after the wedding because of the closing on our new house. We are just settling into our new home and it is coming together perfectly. I’m redecorating a lot of things because when we decide to start a family, everything in it needs to be perfecto! I love decorating; it’s very therapeutic for me. I believe your house is a reflection of yourself, so I want everything in mine to be exquisite.
My new hobby is experimenting with all different types of art lessons. It’s always been a passion of mine. Maybe I’ll even do my sister’s make-up next year for big events. Jamie Lynn is turning into such a beautiful little lady. Her new show is coming out soon and I am sooo proud of her. It’s called Zoey 101 and it will be on Nickelodeon in January. DON’T MISS IT!
I haven’t really thought a lot about work lately. What better time for a greatest hits album to come out? I can actually enjoy & reflect on my success at this point in my life. I may be disappointing some fans out there, but I don’t think I’ll do another tour for a couple of years. My priorities in life have changed. I am having fun again reading all the magazines that I enjoy (mainly because I am not on them). At this point and time, what I want is not my face on every cover, but someone else’s instead. I really want to help other people achieve their dreams and possibly even develop new artists. Everything is in the very beginning stages and it feels great to just think about different opportunities that I am interested in pursuing.
The Holiday’s are right around the corner and I can’t wait to have my own Christmas tree in my very own house. As far as New Year’s plans, I really wanted to have a huge party for all our friends and relatives who were unable to be at our wedding, due to the last minute surprise element, but I think we might have to wait until after the house is completely finished.
Well, I’ve got to go. My dog, Lacy, just got fixed and she’s not acting like herself! I’m going to have Shabby Chic re-cover her bed and maybe that will lift her spirits!
Love, B
PS~ Regarding last week’s letter: I’m not the type of person to put blame on other people, but I do feel that some things which were done for me were not always in my best interests. Looking back, I feel now that on my 4th album “less is more” should have been the way to go. As for me quitting the business for good, that is kind of harsh. As I said earlier, my priorities have changed and I am going to be focusing on three main areas of my life for the immediate future. Myself, my husband, Kevin and starting a family. When I really come back, things will be totally different. Until then, there are some things close to me that you might be interested in seeing. For one, you will be able to get a taste of my fine hubby on a few covers; Jamie Lynn has her show coming out and of course, the tabloid’s weekly analysis of my “letter of truth”. Hopefully, they won’t be trying to decipher that one for much longer! I can’t wait to read what they say this week. He He! Well, now I’ve really got to go!
Love ya,
B
November 10, 2004
Honeymoon Poem
A honeymoon at last, to get away from it all
My assistant Fe gave me the call.
I remember it well, as she was smilin’
She said it was called Turtle Island.
I packed my bags light and quick,
Then grabbed my pink dress & favorite lipstick.
We hopped on a plane and took our flight
I slept really well, all through the night.
As we arrive, I turn and look out the door,
People are greeting us right at the shore.
A meal, a shower and some ice cream
Then I threw my man down, you know what I mean!
Magical nights filled with stars
Silence is golden, no running cars.
Private dinners, romantic fires
Little piece of heaven, whatever your heart desires.
Friendly “hellos” and never goodbyes
When you’re having fun, oh, how time flies!
As we sit and prepare to make our part
I thank you, Turtle Island, with all my heart!
~ Britney
November 22, 2004
This week is Thanksgiving, a time of year to reflect on all of our blessings and everything we are most thankful for. In that respect, I want to dedicate this letter to my mom.
It’s 10pm and Kori is sound asleep. Today, for the first time I made a roast with carrots, potatoes, corn and my favorite garlic bread. It was amazing, if I do say so myself! I used my own recipe too. My feet are really starting to sink into my new home, especially the kitchen. When I was younger, the kitchen was always the room in the house where we would all end up hanging out. Cooking is kind of like motherhood. To be really good at it, you don’t need instructions. You kind of just go on instinct and what feels right.
My mom was the best at everything but she wasn’t a Stepford wife at all. She had her own way of doing things. Some of the women where we are from went to church every week, but also gossiped the entire time they were there. These women also worshiped their husbands in a weird way and talked to their kids as if they were a principal lecturing a student instead of a mother to her child. Living in a small town can make it so easy to just follow the mold and go along with how everyone else does things. But my mom managed to set her own course and not get corrupted into doing things like all the other women. She would go to church every week like everyone else, but she always looked sexy in her black dress and she was the one all the other women would gossip about. She would come home and put on her size 2 shorts and a bikini top to wash the car & get a tan at the same time, then come inside and manage to make the best chicken dumplings before going on a two mile run and then end the night by making the best chocolate shakes for us before we went to bed.
My mom was and still is a Supermom. She is just so much fun and I think the reason why I relate to her so well is because she’s a young mom. A lot of people think you should wait till you’re older to have kids. I’ve had a career since I was 16, have traveled around the world & back and even kissed Madonna! The only thing I haven’t done so far is experience the closest thing to God and that’s having a baby. I can’t wait! I thought I would never say this, but I love not working so much! To be a really good mom, I feel your child needs to be your full time job. I want to raise my kids and share all of those precious moments with them and not rely on nannies. Spending time at home over the past few months, I have felt richer than I ever did working all the time. My soul feels rich and that doesn’t have anything to do with money or material things. To feel content, I just need a roof over my head and to be surrounded by the people I love. That’s why I’m dedicating this letter to my mom and all of the mom’s out there. What would the world do without you?
Mom, thanks for being the best role model ~ you rock!
Love,
B
January 3, 2005
Dear Fans,
A new year is starting and I have so many resolutions. If only I could convince myself to stick to them!
My Christmas was wonderful and I had such a great break. I think I should rephrase myself from my previous letters when I was talking about taking a “break”. What I meant was I am taking a break from being told what to do. True Masters say it’s cool when you look at someone and don’t know whether they are at work or play since it’s all the same to them. The things I’ve been doing for work lately have been so much fun, because it’s not like work to me anymore. I’ve been even more “hands on” in my management and the business side of things and I feel more in control than ever.
I just shot a cute video for “Do Something” that I co-directed. After doing about 20 videos, it gets kind of boring playing the same role, so I chose to work with a young, hungry, director Bille Woodruff. He had no ego whatsoever and the whole process was just so much fun. Oh, his dog was just adorable too.
As much fun as I had, I have to say I was a little disappointed that I still had to convince my record label that making this video was the right thing to do at this time. But, in the end, I think everything came out great. We shot the entire video in a record breaking 5 hours. I even came up with all the choreography and styled the entire shoot myself using Juicy Couture clothing.
Co-directing this video was like an experimental project for me. I feel like being behind the camera is sometimes more satisfying than being in front of it. Working on this video was my first taste into behind the scenes work which I am excited about doing more of in the near future. When a woman directs, I think it just alters the entire feel of the movie, production or play in such a positive way. Speaking of, I’ve been working on writing and hopefully eventually directing a musical which makes fun of the whole Hollywood scene, which is appropriately titled “Hollywood”.
On a different note, I have a new dog named Lucky and I just bought her a new dresser for her room. Yes, she has a room, which she shares with Bit Bit. For Christmas, they got a baby chandelier to go in it. It’s the cutest thing in the world!
I have to go now because my other dog, Lacy, has been sick for a little while and I need to go give her medicine.
Happy New Year!
Love,
Brit
PS Please remember to watch Jamie Lynn’s new show, Zoey 101, which debuts on Nickelodeon this month!
February 11, 2005
Dear Fans,
Valentine’s Day is around the corner and I am so grateful to have someone I love. I fall more and more in love with Kevin everyday. We’ve been away from each other for a week now and I think I’m losing my mind! It’s the longest we’ve been a part from one another. He’s working a lot right now and I’m so happy for him. His Details cover is coming out in a little over a week and the pictures are so hot! Stay away girls! (he he) I have such a great surprise planned for Kevin on Valentine’s Day. I can’t wait to see him tomorrow!
I haven’t seen Kori in two weeks because I’ve been home in Louisiana with my mom. Hopefully Kori can come here for a visit soon because I miss her so much! I bought her the cutest dresses for Easter and to wear this summer. I love buying kids clothes.
For some reason, I can relax so much better when I’m in Kentwood. It’s like food for the soul. I think when Kevin and I start a family we might build our dream home right behind my mom’s. It’s true; home is where the heart is. I’ve been having so much fun with my mom lately. We’ve been indulging ourselves with the simple pleasures of life. I think I may do this for a while.
I’m so excited, my dogs are stylin’ and profilin’ because Von Dutch just sent them the coolest little clothes! I think my dogs are so much cuter than Tinkerbell (ruff! ruff!). My mom’s mad because the dogs are still having problems with their potty training. It is kind of bad because we have white carpets. They will learn soon though, I hope!
I think my momma and I are going to go see “The Wedding Date” later today. I love watching fun, girly movies. They always put me in a great mood!
I hope you all have a wonderful Valentine’s Day with the one you love. But if you’re single, just round up a group of your friends and grab some low-fat Blue Bell ice cream. It’s the best!!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Love,
Britney
March 4, 2005
Madonna first introduced Kabbalah to me at a time in my life when it was much needed. It has helped me get rid of a lot of negative influences that were guiding me down the wrong path. There came a point where not even my family or my advisors had the answers I needed. The answers I was looking for were all in my heart. Through Kabbalah, I was able to look within myself, clear all the negative energy and turn my life around.
Now that the chaos has subsided, I finally feel as though I have the control I’ve wanted over my own destiny. I’m in a place where I can take Kabbalah seriously and truly learn from it.
Whatever your religion may be, it’s amazing what the power of prayer can do, it can even perform miracles!
March 30, 2005
Dear False Tabloids,
As you read this letter, I bet you are asking yourself: Who? Who, me? Am I a false tabloid? Well, I don’t know. But after this posting, I hope you are asking yourself a lot of questions. Your employees are a reflection of your magazine. Do you, Us Weekly, In Touch, Star and other desperate magazines want employees who are honest, or those who are liars? It seems to me that you’d prefer the latter. I’m really concerned about the people you hire to work at your companies. I’d like them to ask themselves the question, “What am I lying to myself about?” Is it that you are 50 pounds overweight? Is it that your children aren’t making wise decisions? Or is it maybe that your husband or boyfriend is cheating on you? Until you face what is going on in your life, I guess you’ll remain a false tabloid.
Britney
P.S. People Magazine is great in my book!
December 22, 2005
Dear Fans,
The holidays are here once again. I just wanted to write you a short note thanking you all for your continued love and support. I have been blessed with so much this year, I hope each of you gets everything you wish for, and more importantly are able to spend time with your family and loved ones.
We are spending Christmas at my house and I am so excited for my mom and Jamie Lynn to get here! Please remember to keep all of our brave troops who are away from home (and those who are able to be home with their families) in your heart and prayers too!
Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!
Love,
Britney
May 22, 2006
Remembrance of Who I Am
No more chains
That you gave me.
Enough of pain
Now I’m craving
Something sweet, so delight
How do you stand sleeping at night?
Silly patterns that we follow
You pull me in
I’m being swallowed.
By the ones you think you love
They pull you down
You can’t see up above.
Manipulation is the key
They screw it in
Because you’re naive.
You come to me now
Why do you bother?
Remember the Bible
The sins of the Father.
What you do
You pass down
No wonder why
I lost my crown.
You don’t see me now
You ask yourself why
My crown is back
And it’s way too high
For you to be in my presence
Especially my son
You should bow down
I’ve only just begun.
The guilt you fed me
Made me weak.
The voodoo you did
I couldn’t speak.
You’re awakening
The phone is ringing.
Resurrection of my soul
The fear I’m bringing.
What will you say
And what will you do?
She’s not the same person that you’re used to.
You trick me one, twice, now it’s three.
Look who’s smiling now
Damn, it’s good to be me!
*This is for everyone who thinks they know me…
I forgive you.
July 20, 2006
TIGERS
Tiger! Tiger! burning bright
In the forests of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry
– William Blake
In some ways, people are a lot like animals. I’m mesmerized by tigers. Their eyes, their stripes, their constant quest for survival. They almost have a sense of mysteriousness about them. They pull you in and make it difficult to look away. They make you wonder what is behind their gaze. A sense of eerie awe comes over you in their presence. The fear they give you when you pass them is stunning. Behold the beauty of the tiger.
December 7, 2006
It’s been so long since I’ve been out on the town with friends. It’s also been 2 years since I’ve celebrated my birthday. Every move I make at this point has been magnified more than I expected, and I probably did take my new found freedom a little too far. Anyway, thank God for Victoria’s Secrets’ new underwear line! I look forward to a new year, new music, and a new me.
I’m just getting started….. Happy Holidays everyone!
Britney
January 4, 2007
Dear Fans,
It has been a while since I’ve addressed you personally here on my official website. The last couple of years have been quite a ride for me, the media has criticized my every move and printed a skewed perception of who I really am as a human being. Behind every decision I have made in my public life there always seems to be an apparent contradiction. I have come to terms with that which is why I usually don’t pay much attention to it.
The last couple of years have been very enlightening for me and now that I’ve had the time to be “me,” I’ve been able to sit down and think about where I want to go with myself as an entertainer with absolutely no strings attached. I am now more mature and feel like I am finally “free.” I’ve been working so hard on this new album and I can’t wait for you all to hear it and to go on tour again! I would like to exclusively tell you that I am working hard to release the new album sometime later this year, but the date is of course not certain yet. I look forward to coming back this year bigger and better than ever, and to also reaching out to my fans on a more personal level.
I noticed today that one of my biggest fan sites is shutting down soon and I want you all to know that I do understand all the reasons that went behind making that decision, and I am sad to see it closing. If I were you I’d be unhappy too if I had to read what I’ve been reading every day. But trust me, I get it.
I know I’ve been far from perfect and the media has had a lot of fun exaggerating my every move, but I want you all to know that I love my fans so much, and I appreciate everything you have done for me, so Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!
Love,
Britney
February 15, 2007 - Fe’s Letter
Ruben,
Once again–I commend you for your Honesty and Integrity. I have been reading your new website daily and am grateful to have that to go to, to check on the antics of Britney. Britney doesn’t have a Publicist for me to clear this thru first, so it will come directly from my heart to you!
I am writing in response to “Where is Felicia?” on your editorial.I am home–in Mississippi…….I am now a trained Corporate Flight Attendant and fly with a tiny jet company out of Georgia. I am also a substitute Preschool Teacher at the Church Preschool in my town. I LOVED being with Britney for the past 9 1/2 years. I enjoyed being a part of HER dream, but now, am living my own dream.
I cherish ALL the incredible opportunities that came my way thru my job with Britney and am crushed/saddened/heart sick by the way her life is unfolding…….
I want you to know Ruben that WE (as in her Family and nearest and dearest—ALL of whom are NOT on the payroll anymore!!) are doing EVERYTHING in our power to get help for Britney and all in our power to NOT pad the bottom or move the bottom, so when she does indeed hit rock bottom, she’ll stand up and walk away from this whole fiasco a new, confident, changed, career driven Britney like we all knew and loved.
There’s just so much you can do to help a person—I don’t dare want to be an enabler, and I cannot love her enough for the both of us. I cannot convince her in ANY way to love herself. All I can do is be a friend, someone that loved her for MANY years unconditionally, and PRAY. That, I have decided is the most and best I can do for my friend. I cannot save her from herself, nor can I commit her to any type of treatment program against her wishes and will. I am throwing my hands up and realizing that I am helpless over another—ANYONE!
It’s been a hard reality for me to face. I have lived my best example daily, and that is ALL I’m capable of. To see what’s transpiring now, makes me feel a failure, defeated. I LOVED and BELIEVED in what I was a part of for the past 10 years and was so incredibly proud of Britney and all she’d become.
All that to say this Ruben–I’m so Southern, and the BEST way for me to tell you how I feel is to say—You can just kick an old Dog so many times before he gets off the porch. I, FELICIA, am OFF the porch!!
Thank you for ALL you’ve done–ALL the love and support over the years. ALL the non-judgement and ALL the Honesty!
PLEASE let me know if there’s ANYTHING I can do to repay your kindness. With as much sincerity as I can Muster,
—FE
May 16, 2007
The reason for this letter is to let everyone know that their prayers have truly helped me. I am so blessed that you care enough about me to be concerned and will continue to live in this brighter state with all of you by my side during this trying time. We are all lights of the world and we all need to continually inspire others and look to the higher power.
You are all in my prayers. Godspeed.
Love,
Britney
May 28, 2007
Dear Fans,
I just wanted to reach out to all of you and explain some of the things I have been faced with recently.
It’s so funny how many stories are put out there about people. It’s like we all want our side of the story out there, but at the end of the day only a few people care to hear what is really going on since the bad is always so much more interesting than the truth. I don’t know why, but this is so weird to me. I used to be angry at the tabloids for printing horrible things about me, but now I try to just be numb to what I see. I saw Tyra Banks once get really upset and cry on her show because they made her look fat. We all want a certain image of ourselves out there, and at some point we all do really care what other people think or we wouldn’t be here.
Recently, I was sent to a very humbling place called rehab. I truly hit rock bottom. Till this day I don’t think it was alcohol or depression. I was like a bad kid running around with ADD. I had a manager from a long time ago come in and try to direct me and my life after I got my divorce. I was so overwhelmed I think that I was in a little shock too. I didn’t know who to go to. I realized how much energy and love I had put into my past relationship when it was gone because I genuinely did not know what to do with myself, and it made me so sad. I confess, I was so lost.
This letter is to not place blame on anyone, although I do see the world with a completely different set of eyes now. Being in that vulnerable state and taken to dinners and parties with friends and finding out later you paid for everything was a huge learning lesson for me. I think the whole problem was letting too many people into my life. You never know another persons intentions or what another person wants. I feel I was too open and looking for answers when I had it all to begin with. I have had to cut so many people out of my life. It is so sad, because if anyone is a family person…it is me. When I was little I remember every night watching movies with my family and feeling so at peace.
Dancing and singing all the time just like a little girl should. Now recently I find with my children that I want them to have that feeling all of the time. I am having to face a lot of things right now since I have children of my own. A lot of insecurities from when I was little are coming up again. It is like we are never good enough.
I know everyone thinks that I am playing the victim, but I am not and I hate what is going on right now so much. Maybe this is the reason for this letter…to maybe allow people to look at me differently. It is like when you are a real woman and say what you feel and how you think things are supposed to be, that people just say you are a “bitch.”
I feel like some of the people in my life made more of some issues than was necessary. I also feel like they knew I was beginning to use my brain for a change and cut some ties, so they wanted to be in more control of my life than me. I think it is actually normal for a young girl to go out after a huge divorce. I think it was a bigger issue because I had not gone out in such a long time. I am 25 and I do still have a lot to learn, and I am going to make mistakes everyday, and I am sure every mistake I make will probably be on CNN or Good Morning America. I am only human people and I love you for still loving me.
I am sitting here at home and it is 6:25 and both of my sons are asleep. I am truly blessed to have them in my life. Every day is so surreal. Life in general is so surreal and crazy.
I just hope this letter made some of you think a little bit more of me and where I am coming from. I just want the same things in life that you want…and that is to be happy. It is just so weird because everyone has their own perception of me and how they think I really am. It is so weird how stories are told. There is your side, my side, and the truth. Somebody has to figure it out. I guess we will never really understand or figure out life completely. That’s God’s job. I can’t wait to meet him…or her.
Love, Britney
Quote of the month…
It is ok to disagree with people regarding certain issues. You’re not being true to yourself if you succumb to others opinions because you feel guilty.
June 14, 2007
“You’ll Never See it My Way, Because You’re Not Me.”
I’m asking my most die-hard fans for some assistance in order to name my upcoming album.
Possible Album Titles:
1. Omg is Like Lindsay Lohan Like Okay Like
2. What if the Joke is on You
3. Down boy
4. Integrity
5. Dignity
June 24, 2007
Mother to grandmother, and my my, you’re grand.
(On June 28, 2007, Britney confronts Lynne Spears on the set of Zoey 101.)
July 5, 2007
